This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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