I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
