the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
the liver wants what the liver wants
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
