You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
