They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't turn off my feet"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
there is glitter all over my balls
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize