Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
