I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My pussy is not your playground.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
