is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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