awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
