Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
