You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
