So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
