I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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