this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
