It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
