brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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