He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
