hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
