is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
His nipple licking is glorious
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