so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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