Dual....:-)
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
