I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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