he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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