After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
