i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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