My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My ass is underappreciated
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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