HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
