Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
