So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
