My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i now understand why vodka
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
