I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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