I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
