In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
