Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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