I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she smelled like a LAN party
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
