I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
