Fuck appropriateness.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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