I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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