They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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