I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
