so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
