Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
