eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
