have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
