i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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