he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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