bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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