The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
