so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
