Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
