i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
