i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
