I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
be right there i have to get my cape
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
