Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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