Having a random hookup so left but love u
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
