My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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