Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
