did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
