so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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