the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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