im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
